Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from my family to yours. I'll be taking a break from blogging for the next few days to celebrate Christmas. You are probably focusing on your loved ones during this time as well. Let's enjoy the fact that Jesus came to the earth to be Emmanuel - God With Us.

I'll share with you the lyrics of a song entitled, Hymns, from Cynthia Clawson's CD, Hymnsinger. The song was written by Paul McCusker & David Maddux. It is a tribute to those who have walked in faith before us. It is also a personal prayer that we might be an inspiration to those who come after us.

HYMNS

I hear their songs

Their words of beauty reaching deep
Within cathedrals of my heart
Angelic choirs
Reverberate the stained glass windows
Of saints and sinners in their place
Singing out "Amazing Grace"
While in the glory of their faith
I'm drawn to find my part
And sing with all my heart

I know their words
Their thoughts reflecting simple truth
Of testimonies rich in love
Their eyes can see
The mystery of loving kindness
Of chains and blindness torn away
Power found in each new day
The Lord's compassion on display
His touch from Heaven above
Gave words to speak their love

Composer of my soul
Show me all You show to them
The hymnwriter, hymnsinger
Let me know their eloquence
Let me share their offering
Put the notes in my heart,
The lyrics on my lips,
And let the essence of my life
Be a song that others will want to sing

I see their lives
Like tears that fall upon a page
A mark indelible in time
What sacrifice!
Their hearts poured out like raging water
For sons and daughters to believe
And generations to receive
The harvest white from all their seeds
No greater love sublime
Could change this heart of mine

Composer of my soul
Show me all You show to them
The hymnwriter, hymnsinger
Let me know their eloquence
Let me share their offering
Put the notes in my heart,
The lyrics on my lips,
And let the essence of my life
Be a song that others will want to sing



Saturday, December 17, 2005

The LORD Knows


Psalm 1:6a - "For the LORD knows the way of the righteous…"

My way is known by Yahweh Himself. I know I am righteous only because of Christ. "But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe." (Romans 3:21-22)

Thank You, Father, for making me righteous. Thank You for knowing me. Your knowledge of me brings great comfort. Your watchful eye keeps me from feeling alone. "How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!" (Ps. 139:17)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Adorn My Soul

"Come, 0 Lord, in much mercy down into my soul and take possession and dwell there. A poor dwelling, I confess, for so glorious a Person as You. Yet, I am preparing for a fitting reception of You, by holy and fervent desires of Your own inspiring. Enter then, and adorn my soul, and make it a worthy place for You to inhabit, since it is the work of Your own hands. Give me Yourself, without which, even if You should give me all that You ever have made, yet this would not satisfy my desires. Let my soul ever seek You, and let me persist in seeking, until I have found, and am in full possession of You. Amen." (St. Augustine)

This prayer of St. Augustine puts into words a longing that has been in my own heart. I have spoken before about not being satisfied by anything on this earth. It is He Himself that my soul seeks. There is no person, activity or possession that gives my soul its true satisfaction. Lord, it is You alone that I desire. As Augustine says - please make your dwelling down in my soul today. Thank You.

Monday, December 12, 2005

A Prayer for Sight, by Richard Foster

I see people, LORD, by they're all a blur of activity...a little like trees walking about. Go here! Go there! Do this! Do that! It's like we're all in a frantic scramble of climb and push and shove.

I'd really like to know each person as a unique individual, Lord, not just as a consumer or a competitor. But how? Too many people enter my day for me to pay attention to them all.

If I cannot truly "see" everyone, Lord, may I at least see someone. Help me to see that solitary individual...and for the rest---forgive, O Lord, forgive. Amen.

(Foster, Richard. Prayers from the Heart. HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, p. 82.)

Saturday, December 10, 2005

He Rises to Show You Compassion

"Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion." (Isaiah 30:18a)

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Isaiah 33:2 - Prayer

"O LORD, be gracious to us;
we long for you.
Be our strength every morning,
our salvation in time of distress."
(Isaiah 33:2)

Lord,

Thank You for being gracious to us. We do long for You. You are our strength and our help. If we are having a hard time finding that "longing place" in our hearts, help us to slow down and see You in new ways. May we long only for You. You are gracious.

Amen.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Advent - The Coming of the Savior


"Therefore the Lord himself will give yo ua sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel [God with us]. (Isaiah 7:14)

Advent. I've known the word. I've also know that it means the four weeks before Christmas. However, it's so much more meaningful than that. It literally means, "The coming of the savior." I found another definition that gives it even more meaning - "a season to prepare for Christmas when Christ's first coming to us is remembered; a season when that remembrance directs the mind and heart to await Christ's Second Coming at the end of time."

I pause and take a deep breath over those words..."the coming of the savior." What does it mean to me that someone came to save me? To save us? This is a love beyond description.

Today may you and I be overwhelmed with the love that is shown us in this season. God with us. A savior to save us. Love has come to earth!

Friday, December 02, 2005

In a Hurry? (Part 3)

To wrap these "hurry" thoughts up for now, I think the best thing to do is to look at the life of Jesus Himself.

No one will argue that Jesus had an easy, carefree life. He made the ultimate sacrifice of His own life for us all.

However, as I read the gospels I don't really see Jesus as being stressed out or in a hurry. He knew who He was and He knew why He came here. He was in constant contact with His Father and He spoke and did only His will.

Sometimes I think I am wrapped up too much in things that don't matter. I've allowed the culture to dictate what should and should not happen in my day to day life (marriage, parenting, social habits, roles).

As I am typing this I realize that I don't have this fully baked. I am giving you my musings raw. I wish I could say I have this figured out. Some of it may be the season of life in which I find myself (mid-life).

There is a definite transition in this 40ish stage of life where the things that used to work or make sense don't so much anymore. I can see that my talk about hurry has digressed into how life is changing for me on the inside. Well, such is the stuff of blogs.

I know this much - I cannot look to my culture to help me in my quest for living a fruitful, abundant life. Only in Jesus will I find the ultimate fulfillment and wisdom needed to traverse this journey of life.

I said in the last entry that we have a God who is greater than anything in this world. It is true - see in 1 John 4:4b…

"…the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."

May our God and Father and our Lord Jesus Christ grant you and I the ability to take life at that pace that He desires. May you be unhurried in your inner and outer journey so that you will not miss what He has for you in each and every day. May this be so!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

In a Hurry? (Part 2)


I was reading an article recently in "Real Simple" magazine. It was entitled, "Slow Down." It was interesting to me to see that this our cultural tendency to hurry is so prevalent that it is now being talked about in a magazine such as this.

Studies are being done on the affects of our "sped-up world." Our lack of healthy down time is wrecking havoc on our physical and emotional health (not to mention our souls).

Where is time for the space that breeds creativity, kindness, and less stomach acid?

Let me know if I'm alone here, but do you find that you sometimes have an inner pace that feels like a kind of revving? I touched on this before in my "Bark Chips" entry. I've noticed that there is just something in the air of our culture. It feels as though there is always something that needs to be done. Multi-tasking is commonplace. Some may say this is the plight of all mothers and/or women everywhere. But is this really the best and only way to live?

We have Paxil for Generalized Anxiety Disorder in adults and Ritalin for our "hyper-active" kids. We drive too fast on the freeways and get mad when someone cuts us off. We look for the shortest line in the grocery store and get anxious when our computer download takes too long.

God has placed in my heart a desire for this inner and outer stress to come to an end. Even as I type these words, it seems culturally insurmountable.

Ahh, but we have a God who is greater than anything in this world. Let's talk about that next time…

(Photo by: Nikki Levine for openphoto.net)

Monday, November 28, 2005

In a Hurry? (Part 1)

I've given the idea of "pace" a lot of thought in the last couple of years.

I've noticed the pace of life has continued to speed up, faster and faster as each year passes. We are all running around, huffing and puffing, complaining that there is not enough time to get everything done.

Are we really at the mercy of the time crunches that we create by our own choices? Some might argue that none of this can be helped. This is the way it is and we have to learn to deal with it.

I'd like to ask: Is this really true? Do we really have to do everything we currently think we have to do to lead a fulfilling life?

We are making many assumptions about what it means to be a well-rounded and successful person, mother, friend, wife, Christian.

Let's give this some thought and we'll talk about it more next time…

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Living

"We don't think ourselves into a new way of living. We live ourselves into a new way of thinking." (The Wild Man's Journey, Richard Rohr))

Monday, November 14, 2005

An Early Thanksgiving Greeting


My posts will be sparse to non-existent for the next 2 weeks due to some wonderful family travel that we will be doing. I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving and thank you to those of you who have been interacting with me through this blog.

I am having a wonderful time sharing what is on my heart and hearing from you who are walking your own path of grace.

While I'm on a short break - why don't you take some time to go through my archives and catch up on some entries you may have missed.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your loved ones!

Blessings, Gem

Thursday, November 10, 2005

A Safe & Pretty Life?

Some thoughts from the first chapter of Hosea...

Hosea was a prophet and man of God and yet he was asked to do something "sinful" so that God could make a point to His people. Hosea 1:2 says, "When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to Him, 'Go, take to yourself an adulterous wife and children of unfaithfulness, because the land is guilty of the vilest adultery in departing from the LORD.'"

I understand that Hosea was a prophet, however, each of us as Christians, in our own way, is a prophet in this fallen world. We all have something to say and contribute to the people of this earth. Are we letting the Lord speak through us? Am I letting the Lord speak through me?

It says, "When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him…" --- and then the next thing is something that makes no sense. Go and marry a prostitute?! Why? I have to imagine that Hosea had a least a little conversation in his head about this. What will people think? Why do I have to marry this "sinful" woman? Are You serious, LORD? And, yet, Hosea obeys.

I realize that I spend much of my time trying to make things smooth and easy and comfortable. Why can't I give that up? If I am (as I want to be) a woman whom God speaks through, then it would be good for me to be ready to do whatever He asks, even if it goes against the grain. Only as a branch attached to the vine will I be able to do this (John 15).

Am I more interested in living a safe and pretty life than I am in hearing from God, letting Him speak through me and doing what He says?

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Holy Longing


Longing and hunger are good. If I was "satisfied" with my relationship with God or as a wife, mother and friend - would I still continue to press on for new territory?

Longing and hunger propel you forward (unless you choose to downward spiral through the numbing of addiction). I prefer up, out and beyond.

I have mistaken this "dissatisfaction" as something to get over. I think I will sense this until the day I die. I've heard of the phrase "holy longing." There is a place deep inside me that groans and longs for the Lord, His love, His ways. It shows that I am alive and living in this world…waiting for the bridegroom to come.

What bride does not yearn for her groom?

Come, Lord Jesus!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Bark Chips, Part 3

Well, I got to the end of my 24-hour retreat and a few things had shaken down in the process. I realized the swirl in my head (bark chips) was not only the details of the stuff of life, but also my over-processing of them.

I was reading "Sacred Companions" by David Benner. In one of the chapters he encouraged a friend not to second-guess what God is up to or over analyze what one is supposed to learn from a situation. In the context he was in no way negating the thoughtful pondering of God's work in your life. There are times, however, when too much thinking/analyzing is not helpful.

Asking why is only one of the things I do in my "mull-fests." I seek to control almost everything by thinking it through and then thinking again, getting side tracked by others' opinions in my head and my own emotions which go all over the place on any given day or week.

I exhaust myself with over-analysis.

The Lord lead me to two passages on peace:

John 14:27 - "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

John 16:33 - "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

I can't, by my own efforts, make the bark chips go away. I can't make the flurry of my mind go away.

I can, however, receive the peace of the Lord Jesus Christ. I can continue to attune myself to God in the midst. Finding His voice can be like being in a large, bustling crowd and honing in on one voice among the throng. But He is there, speaking, leading and loving. I am learning to be still to listen and receive.

May I hear Your voice alone, Lord Jesus! Thank you for the renewed peace that you so graciously give to me. You are good.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Part 3 still coming...

For those of you actually reading this...

I'm doing a 3 parter on bark chips. I've been out of town this weekend and I hope you will bear with me. I won't be able to get to the rest of the bark chip story until tomorrow.

Blessings!

Friday, November 04, 2005

Bark Chips, Part 2

I had a personal prayer retreat day this week. Here are some thoughts from that time...
========================

Bark chips. Thousands of them. Just outside the back door of my room at the retreat center

Bark chips. Not exactly what I was expecting. I was picturing something more like grass. Something soothing and beautiful. Instead I was greeted by a large, dry spread of little pieces of wood.

The first thing that popped into my head was, "This is an image of the multitude of bits and pieces of thoughts and junk in my head." It was an accurate picture of my inner swirl.

I sat in the chair on my little porch and told God that I was looking forward to what He would be doing in me in the next 24 hours.

Stay tuned...

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Bark Chips, Part 1


I have two words for you:

Bark chips.

Stay tuned.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Prayer of Thanks

Father,

Thank you for today. You are such a faithful and loving God. You are taking such care with my soul. Thank you for bringing peace and excitement to my most inner place. You are so faithful! Today, may I walk in Your counsel. May Your love pour out from within me to those around me. You are Good!

"Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise Him." (Psalm 33:1)

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Losing Sight of the Shore


From a quiet time at the beach...
-------------------
I found this quote recently by Andre Gide, “People cannot discover new lands until they have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

Father, as I sit here watching those of us on the shore and in the surf...I think that we are not as brave as those who go out into deeper water. I hear You calling me out to the deep waters – to the horizon. Places where I don’t know what’s under me or beyond me. The place of new discoveries, new territory.

Explorers and pioneers are those that leave the safety of home to press out into what is beyond what they know. That is what I want to do spiritually. I do not want a "safe" relationship with God. Well, actually, part of me does. But my true heart does not want that. What I want to do is to swim in the ocean of His love, experiencing all that He has for me, without reservation.

He Watches Over You

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." (Psalm 32:8)

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

A Dog's Life


Below is an entry from my journal dated February, 1991. I was sitting at a park having an extended time with God, listening and praying. God can use anything to drive a point home. Keep your eyes open this week for how He might speak to you in unusual ways...
==========================
There are three men with dogs here at this park. One has a puppy, one has a young dog and one has an older dog.

I notice that the puppy has an attention span of about two seconds. His master is constantly pulling back on the leash while the puppy frolics about--getting into things without thinking, often running ahead of his master. Most of the interaction between the master and his puppy is commands, direction and training.

The man with the young dog seems to have a different relationship. This dog stays closer to his master. His frolicking is done at the feet of his master. They seem to interact more on a trust level.

There is a third man with an even older dog. This dog isn't on a leash anymore. This dog follows his master automatically. The dog does stop every once in a while to see what's there but he is always following the steps of his master. If the dog stays too long in one spot the master merely speaks a word and the dog comes running right to the master's side.

This may seem like a silly analogy, but I do see similarities in the master/dog relationship and our relationship to God. I see the three dogs as stages in our journey with Him. I long to move to the maturity of the older dog, faithfully following my Master.

I am reminded again that I am on a journey. I keep thinking that I am supposed to "arrive" one day. The word for the day is PROCESS.

Lord, thank You for bringing me this far. I do trust You with my future and I will try to be patient with my progress. I know You are patient.

Monday, October 24, 2005

A Soul that Rests in Him


“Therefore I will not weary myself with seeking beyond what God wants me to know. Instead I will abide in peace with the understanding God has given me, and I will let this occupy my mind.

When God finds a soul that rests in him and is not easily moved, he operates within it in his own manner. That soul allows God to do great things within it. He gives to such a soul the key to the treasures he has prepared for it so that it might enjoy them. And to this same soul he gives the joy of this presence which entirely absorbs such a soul.” (Catherine of Genoa)

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Train of His Robe...Hem of His Garment

One morning at church during worship, we were singing “Open the Eyes of My Heart” by Paul Baloche.

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You, I want to see You
See you high and lifted up
Shining in the light of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy… Holy, holy, holy… Holy, holy, holy…
I want to see You

During this song, in my heart's eye, I saw the most amazing robe. It was made of gold and it had red and blue jewels embedded in gold on it. It was sparkling. I saw the movement of the robe, as if the Lord was turning to walk away. Then I saw the same movement of His robe, but this time it was the tunic he wore as a man on earth. This tunic looked like well-worn linen, no adornment, just cloth. I heard, “The train of His robe, the hem of His garment.”

I pictured the women who had been bleeding for so many years coming up from behind and seeing the movement of the hem of his garment. She knew that if she touched it she would get well. It was as though she could see with her eyes of faith the royal robe in all it’s splendor and knew that that power was attainable to her…however, in her human state, the hem of his garment was all she could see. That was good enough for her. She reached out in faith.

By faith, the train of His robe and the hem of His garment are the same. Jesus, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords has come to us fully human and approachable. And I am grateful.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Placing Yourself in Scripture


I want to share a fun way to pray and interact with scripture. The fancy schmancy term for this style of prayer is "The Ignatian Method," named after St. Ignatius of Loyola, the great teacher of this method. (You've just learned your new fact for the day...unless you already knew that). :o)

Those employing the Ignatian method of prayer strive to participate in the actual event by projecting themselves back into the historical happening to try to become a part of the scene in order to draw some practical fruit for their life.** You try to see the sights, smell the smells, hear the sounds of a story.

Below is the story of the bleeding woman in the gospel of Mark. After the scripture is my own prayerful encounter with the woman, as well as how I see it affecting my life today. I chose to enter the scene after the woman interacted with Jesus, however, you could also place yourself with her as the interaction is taking place. There are many different angles you could come from...let the Spirit lead you in prayer.

This is something you could easily try with any of Jesus' interactions with people in the gospels. I LOVE seeing how He interacts with people. Incredible!
----------------------
And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’” But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” (Mark 5:25-34)
----------------------
I walked up to the woman and touched her on the shoulder. She turned. There was a look on her face that was at the same time both amazement and peace. The fear she had previously experienced had quickly faded.

"What happened?" I inquired.

"He said, 'Daughter, your faith has healed you,'" she replied.

Slowly and deliberately she repeated, "Daughter, your faith has healed you....Go in peace....Be freed from your suffering."

Each time she repeated the words of Jesus, her smile grew wider. Soon she was laughing uncontrollably. She raised her hands to heaven, praising God, in utter freedom. She grabbed my hands and we began to dance right there in the road. There was no room for being self-conscious. Her joy was contagious and I began to laugh as well, praising God along with this woman who had just begun a new chapter of peace after so much suffering.

In my own life - I could really use a good dose of the joy that that woman experienced. It was a visceral, infectious joy. I smile even now as I picture her. Father, I want to rejoice at the work of Your hand in my life, just like this woman. May it be so.

**Definition found in "Prayer and Temperment" by Chester P. Michael & Marie C. Norrissey

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Love


"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing.

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love." (1 Corinthians 13:1-3, The Message)

The following is from Carlo Caretto, Letters from the Desert, p. 24-25:

"I repeat again St. Augustine's words: 'Love and do as you will.' Don't worry about what you ought to do. Worry about loving. Don't interrogate heaven repeatedly and uselessly saying, "What course of action should I pursue?" Concentrate on loving instead.

And by loving you will find out what is for you. Loving, you will listen to the Voice. Loving, you will find peace.

Love is the fulfillment of the law and should be everyone's rule of life; in the end it's the solution to every problem, the motive for all good.

"Love and do as you will."

This is the crux. When I love I can no longer do as I will.

When I love I am love's prisoner; and love is tremendous in its demands when it has God as its object; especially a crucified God. I can no longer do my own will. I must do the will of Jesus, which is the will of the Father.

And when I have learned to do his will, I shall have fully realized my vocation on earth and I shall have achieved the highest stage a man can reach.

The will of God. That's what rules the world and moves the stars, what converts the nations, what starts all life and brings triumph out of death."

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

God Alone

“There is in my heart this great thirst to recognize totally the nothing of all that is not God.” (Thomas Merton, Dialogues with Silence)

Monday, October 17, 2005

Streams in the Wasteland


A while back, my husband, Alan, and I were praying together. As we were praying, I saw an image of a dry, cracked desert floor spreading out in all directions. A glass of water was poured onto the desert. Pretty much once the water hit the ground, it was gone...soaked in.

Not sure what this meant, I asked Alan if there was any scripture from that week that had struck him. He shared that he had been in Isaiah 43 that week and that it had been meaningful. He read the chapter out loud. Here are some excerpts from Isaiah 43. (Keep reading after the verses...)

Isaiah 43:1-3a, 16-21 -

1 But now, this is what the LORD says-
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the LORD , your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

16 This is what the LORD says-
he who made a way through the sea,
a path through the mighty waters,
17 who drew out the chariots and horses,
the army and reinforcements together,
and they lay there, never to rise again,
extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:
18 "Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
20 The wild animals honor me,
the jackals and the owls,
because I provide water in the desert
and streams in the wasteland,
to give drink to my people, my chosen,
21 the people I formed for myself
that they may proclaim my praise.

When Alan got to the part about the streams in the wasteland, I started laughing hard. The freedom I felt from hearing this word from God was wonderful. He is the One who provides the way for us and the miracles we need.

The image I had of the glass of water being poured onto the hard ground is our own feeble efforts. In this parched and weary culture in which we live, our efforts are no more than 8 oz. of water poured onto the desert.

It is the Lord Himself who brings the streams in the wasteland. Can you picture that desert? Can you feel that desert? Now picture God blasting right down the middle of it with a stream of cool, refreshing water that brings life to that dry, weary place. This is our God! He gives to His people, His chosen so that we may proclaim His praise. Thank, you, Father!

"Desperate" graphic found on: http://www.anewkindofchristian.com/archives/lettertosongwriters.pdf

Friday, October 14, 2005

Known...seen...loved

“It’s not so much the words you say as it is your heart inclined to Me,” the Lord said to me.

A broken and contrite heart You will not despise. Thank You! I want to know the reality of You in that place in me that is beyond words.

You know that moment when, in a crowded room, you catch the eye of your beloved – you lock eyes, you grin that knowing grin of connection and without words you say, “I know you and I love you.”

I think that is one way to describe what it is like to connect with God in silence. You are known, seen and loved.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

My Only Happiness


"To know God only as a philosopher; to have the most sublime and curious speculations concerning His essence, His attributes, His providence, will avail us nothing, unless at the same time we know Him experimentally; unless the heart perceive and know Him to be her supreme good, her only happiness, unless the soul feel and acknowledge that she can have no repose, no peace, no joy, but in loving and being loved by Him."

From The Prayers of Susanna Wesley

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Sitting with God

This past year, one of the things I have been trying on is 15 minutes of just "being." In particular, I'm trying to just "be with God." I'm not trying to study or even pray - but just be in His presence. You would think that this would be something relatively easy to do. I, however, have been struggling with it. Mostly, the time is spent with my mind wandering all over the place and me trying to "stay on track." Our culture is so full of stimuli. I find it hard to come off of the pace of day-to-day life and just "be." Most of us are usually trying to get ahead, get a move on or just get done.

Here's something I journaled a few months ago about my struggle to be still:

Well, Lord, I am trying to give you 15 minutes of just me presenting myself before You. I find that there are many hindrances: my mind races with thoughts, I’m still trying to figure out what I am “supposed to get” or “supposed to give” to You in the time.

Today I realized that maybe it’s just good to present my body and mind to You for the sake of that alone. I present my body and mind to many other things (eating, sleeping, friends, TV, shopping). The least I could do is say, “here’s a time in which my sole purpose is to be before the Lord, come what may.”

Thank You for being patient with me while I fumble around. You are gracious.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Maiden Voyage


Well, this is my first foray into the blog world. I thought I would share thoughts and ideas from my own life, mind and heart.

First, for the naming of this blog. My friend, Mary, helped me come up with this title for a website that I wanted to develop to encourage women. You can actually see the flash intro I created at tidesofgrace.com. At some point I do hope to turn that into a functioning website. But for now, this Tides of Grace blog will do.

I like the word "Tides" because I LOVE the ocean. The ocean brings healing to my soul. Somehow the sound of the waves, and the breeze that blows just brings a sense of peace. "Grace" is how I'm learning to live my life. It is only by the the literal grace of God that I exist.

I look forward to sharing with you my thoughts on this journey of life as well as verses, quotes and prayers. Come catch a wave...