I Never Saw Today!

“I never saw today!” my son, then 4-years-old, exclaimed as he peered out the van window. There were some dark grey storm clouds ahead of us. Behind them was blue sky, with splashes of pink and gold. It was the beginning of sunset, and, evidently, my son had never seen the sky in exactly that form before. The only way for him to describe this amazing sky was, “I never saw today!”

I was reminded that I, too, “never saw today.” My day had been full of school Christmas parties and continuing to prepare for another party that evening. I was scurrying around doing the tasks of the day and hadn’t stopped once to wonder at the day given to me by my Creator.

We are getting ready to hit the holiday season with full force. It might be a good idea to decide right now that you won’t miss “today.” I am going to try not to let the tasks overshadow the meaning of Christmas. I want to enjoy this season with my family and friends. It is ok to take the time to enjoy the people and events of the season.

So instead of “Seize the Day” I think I will try to “See today!”

“Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’" (Lamentations 3:22-24)

15 Seconds

I overheard a very interesting conversation yesterday. I was returning a DVD at a video store. Behind the desk, there were two clerks bantering about the computer system. Evidently, every time they used the computer, some promotional pictures came up and they had to wait for them in order to get the customer information they were accessing.

One of the guys said, “Yeah, it takes like 15 seconds to get to the screen you want. It sucks.”

I chuckled to myself. The clerk said that sentence in earnest.

15 seconds was an imposition.

This was just another example of how our culture has issues with hurry and speed. With our computers, we expect things to happen within 2-3 seconds. “What is taking this page so long to load?” “Can’t this file download any faster?”

What kind of a life is it if you can’t wait 15 seconds for something to happen? As I thought about it, it was a reminder for me to slow down inside. I have written about this before in my blog. I guess it just comes up a lot in the culture of Orange County.

I am not trying to point fingers. I fight that inner hurry almost every day in my own life. I don’t like it and I don’t really consider myself to be “Type A.” Yet I struggle with that need to “move forward to that next thing.”

What I really want is to enjoy every moment...to truly be with the person I am with...to listen well...to be...

Got 15 seconds to spare?

The Fire

We are safe from the So. Cal. fires. The closest one is about 3 to 5 miles away. We are breathing smoke and looking at the sky through a haze today, but we have our home. Others have not fared as well. I just finished looking through some photos online. The devastation is...devastating. People have lost homes and cars. They are sitting around in gymnasiums and stadiums. Firefighters are exhausted. Planes are dropping white and pink substances from the air. The fire rages.

Disasters like this have a way of popping everything into perspective. You take yourself to that “What if...” place and ask yourself what you would take if you had to evacuate your home. My list is quite small. I would take my family, my photo albums, my computer (it contains my calendar, journal and more photos), some clothes, a bible. So why do I act as though all the other “stuff” is so important? Perspective...

My prayers go out today for all the people who have evacuated and/or have lost their homes. May they rise up from these ashes and have a new beginning that brings healing.


Photo above: A resident of Irvine looking at the Santiago Canyon fire from atop the Quail Hill community. (Submitted to YourScene By Irvine Resident)

I'm Certifiable!

I am proud to announce that I have completed another process in my journey as a Spiritual Director. I just finished a 2-year process called “The Journey.” “The Journey” is the flagship ministry of The Leadership Institute and is about the integration of spiritual formation and leadership development. I was privileged to be a part of Generation 14. It has been amazing to walk with such a powerhouse group of leaders.

In the picture above, the mentor team is praying over us after we received our “Certificate in Spiritual Direction, Formation & Leadership.” The certificate represents 300 hours of supervised practice in spiritual reading, spiritual disciplines, spiritual leadership, and full participation in Generation 14.

In the back row is Wayne Anderson, Jon Byron, Craig Babb and David Montzingo. Seated in front is Merle Whitney and me. Alan Fadling and Paul Jensen have their backs to the camera. My husband, Alan, is annointing me with oil and commissioning me for further ministry. Fun!

The Freedom of Non-Judgment

Luke 6:37-38 - "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

From Henri Nouwen’s Here and Now, Living in the Spirit:

“Only when we claim the love of God, the love that transcends all judgments, can we overcome all fear of judgments. When we have become completely free from the need to judge others, we will also become completely free from the fear of being judged.

The experience of not having to judge cannot coexist with the fear of being judged, and the experience of God’s non-judgmental love cannot coexist with a need to judge others. That’s what Jesus means when he says: ‘Do not judge, and you will not be judged.’ The connection between the two sides of this sentence is the same connection that exists between the love of God and the love of neighbor. they cannot be separated. This connection, however, is not simply a logical connection that can be thought through. It is first and foremost a connection of the heart that is made in prayer.”

The Waning Days of Summer

I haven’t blogged since for a while. We went on an extended vacation, part of which was visiting our friends in Pennsylvania. On that trip, we spent 2 days in Washington D.C. You can see my boys (above) in front of the reflecting pool with the Washington Monument in the distance. As usual, summer went by very fast. We had a great time resting, playing and traveling.

School starts next week so it will be back to the “regular” schedule. I hope, as I do at the end of every summer, that I will be able to take my inner pace back into the more structured schedule.

Perspective

It was just over a year ago when I blogged about the death of a 15-year-old. Now, I am sorry to say, I am blogging about the death of a 42-year-old.

Last year, the death of the young man hit me so hard. I had never met him and yet I sobbed at the memorial service from the moment my foot hit the parking lot pavement until the service ended. The grief felt so huge. I tried to imagine his mother’s loss. Impossible.

Recently, an acquaintance of mine died. I had met her a few times at the Journey retreats of The Leadership Institute. She was a very warm and gracious person. Her name was Grace. Grace’s death hit me differently. Because she was a woman about my age and general life stage (married with children), I am more sobered than grief stricken. The grief I feel is mostly for her husband and beautiful daughter that she left behind. How they will cope with the loss of their wife and mother can only be covered by the grace of God.

For Grace, herself, I sense peace as she is rejoicing in Heaven and is free from illness. I have also been truly thankful for life in ways that I have not been in the recent past. Every morning when my husband and I pray, I thank God for “the gift of the new day.” This phrase is not cliche anymore. I am truly thanking Him for allowing me to wake up and live a new day.

Life is fleeting...Grace had gone to the doctor with a cough that wouldn’t go away. Instead of hearing something like “cold,” “virus” or “bronchitis,” she found out that she had lung cancer. About 6 months later she died.

Each day is a gift. Really. A gift. What am I doing with the time I have been given? My time may come at any moment. I want to be able to say that I was present in each moment, available to love God and to love people. What are the things that rob me of the ability to be grateful, present, and truly alive?

Perspective - the little things that I get bent out of shape about day-to-day are really not that big a deal. Today is a gift and I want my arms to be wide open to receive it.

Remain in Peace

“Do not think about what will happen tomorrow, for the same eternal Father who takes care of you today will look out for you tomorrow and always. Either He will keep you from evil or He will give you invincible courage to endure it. Remain in peace.” (St. Francis de Sales)

The Holiness of Peanut Butter & Jelly

We recently attended a church service where we did two things that I have never done before. Well, actually, I have done both of these things before many times, just never at the same time.

We were worshipping God through song. Then, in between one song and another, we were encouraged to go to the sides of the room where there were tables set up. On one of the tables, there were handi-wipes (very important), loaves of bread, and bowls with peanut butter and jelly in them. We were asked to make a sandwich and take it to the other table which had the brown bag, chips, cookies and juice boxes. These sack lunches would be delivered to the Orange County Rescue Mission for those who needed meals.

Silly as it may sound, I actually felt the presence of God while making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I was almost brought to tears. We were given the tools to help someone in a very simple way and we acted on it right there, while in the midst of worship. My heart began to go out to whomever might eat the sandwich and I prayed for them. The worship music continued in the background and as I returned to my seat I continued to pray for people that I didn’t even know.

It was truly a unique worship experience. It was a holy moment where the profoundly simple met the profoundly eternal.

Prayer of St. Bonaventura

A prayer of St. Bonaventura:

O Lord, Holy Father, show us what kind of man it is who it hanging, for our sakes, on the cross, whose suffering causes the rocks, themselves, to crack and crumble with compassion, whose death brings the dead back to life.

Let my heart crack and crumble at the sight of Him. Let my soul break apart with compassion for His suffering. Let it be shattered with grief at my sins for which He dies. And finally, let it be softened with devoted love for Him.